Wednesday, 9 September 2015

I mentally replied...

To be honest, technology has actually become a bit of a shit.  Where are the days of learning your best friend's telephone number off by heart, communication by letters and post it notes and actually speaking to someone in person if you had a gripe with them?

I  now e-mail, text, Whatsapp, Facebook message, Viber, Skype people.  The latter is the only form (I'm beyond finding out and caring if Viber can) have actual human emotion in them, because the poor individuals on other side of the call can actually get to see your real life mug.  I do of course speak to people (yes, face-to-face).  I'm not a bloody robot.

I remember days gone by where I would write detailed and heart felt letters to friends about the very exciting and riveting (bloody boring and mundane by modern terms) weekend that I'd had and wax lyrically about some or another nonsense that was important to a 16 year old girl at that time in the 90's.  I can only image what that would be like now.  In a feeble attempt in my 30 somethings, I think it would look something like this...

"awesum wknd!  Wht u get u2?  U r my bestie 4eva!"

Really?  Okay, so that is a bit crap, but you get the gist of it.  Where is the feeling, where is the heart?  Where is the tone?  How the heck do I interpret that?  So, if we had a huge fight on the weekend but the flat text that you just send me with absolutely no acknowledgement of the English language says something along that the lines that you are okay, is it really okay? Good luck in your future love, as a cashier...

One of my biggest faults of late is 'mentally replying'.  How that works is, one person sends me a Whatsapp, Facebook, Text/SMS message, e-mail and because I read even faster than I speak or type, I reply just as fast.  Mentally.  Yes, in my mind.  I replied to you without feeling and in my brain I composed a whole response that I would like to say to you but in my new generation laziness I just don't reply.  I know that I can reply to you later.  No immediate response actually needed.

I would rather speak to you in person because then I can say the exact same thing in one or two words or a million words (if I was feeling that way inclined) to you over the phone or face to face instead of me sending a few words over some blank surface for all meanings and sub text to be taken out of complete context.  

That and because I'm just lazy and I know that because the initial correspondence is coming from a source that is indirectly through a human entity, it can actually wait for a few minutes before I respond.

My whole gripe with this is that people are lazy.  I'm lazy too, so hands up to that.  People are too busy to be people and actually do things that people did not even ten years ago.  Writing a letter, leaving a note or picking up a phone is not archaic.  Neither is having respect for the basic foundations of the English language and taking one or two extra minutes to create an entire sentence in a language that all generations can actually decipher.

Clearly I am showing my age but you know what, at least I can remember a time when people actually spoke to each other and the other person knew exactly what they meant without mincing their words (says the woman, writing this in a blog post...).

Ally x

Monday, 7 September 2015

Keeping it together as an All-in-One Mum

Well, there is nothing quite like nearly a years' break from an actual blog post created by me in person.   Now that child 2 is nearly 13 months old and that I am more or less in tune with the lack of sleep and extra juggling of having another mini-me around the house, I think its time that I start writing again.

Over the past year I have learnt that trying to be an All-in-One Mum is actually bloody hard!  For those people who think I have it all together, I can tell you that I let the balls drop many a time.  Picking them up quickly and in some sort of crazed orderly fashion did help but it wasn't always doable at the time.  

When you have a child in reception, a new born, a full time job and a personality where you simply can't still for two seconds without having your hands busy and a mind that never shuts off, it is sometimes hard to get the balance right. 

The "hairs of no pigment" on the top of my head had started to increase in number and I decided that enough was enough.  I now make less lists and try not to think about the lists of lists of things that need to be put on lists that I have not done.  It's a waste of time.  I live more in the moment and relax with the things that are not a priority and when I do have the time available I stick to a strict routine so there is order in the chaos.  I also gave in and arranged for a cleaner to come in for a few hours a week because I wasn't able to just do it all and keep my sanity.  

A few things that I have added to my list of 'bits of random knowledge' gained over the past year are:

  1. NEVER put off to tomorrow, what you can do today.  EVER!  NEVER EVER!  It won't get done tomorrow.  Something else will happen.  If you don't do it now you will end up kicking yourself for the whole of the next day (and possibly the rest of that week).
  2. If your baby is restless and won't sleep and is waking up the rest of the household, co-sleeping is actually okay.  If it means that you get an extra few hours before you have to wake up, just do it. 
  3. If you co-sleep, they will sleep in their own cots (when they sleep through).   Well, child 2 does and we've reached a happy medium with fewer disturbed sleeps and bags under the eyes.
  4. Boys wriggle.  A lot.  A freaking hell of a lot!  Slap down those sticky tabs of their nappy so they are out of little hands reach AS SOON AS you undo it.  If you don't, the shit could quite literally hit the fan, or the wall as happened in my case. 
  5. Boys will find their rod and tackle and they will enjoy fiddling with them at every available opportunity.  They will yank and pull and stretch.  They will do it with pride and a huge smile on their face.  Telling a 13 month old that it will fall off if he pulls harder, only makes them laugh harder and yank with more enthusiasm.  Just let it go...
  6. If you bottle feed and can afford it, buy a Perfect Prep machine.  I have horrific eyesight (-8.5 in both eyes), and I can make a bottle with no mess, in under two minutes at 4:00 a.m. without my glasses on and it comes out at the correct measurement at the perfect temperature.  I do this in my half asleep daze, take the bottle to baby, wait for him to finish and then go back to bed. Five minutes, tops.

You can only be the best mum that you can be at that moment in time.  I like to think I do a good job (even when child 1 tells me otherwise) but I'm sure she will thank me later.  There is no point in thinking that you are doing a better job than anyone or a worse job for that matter, because as sure as dammit, there is someone out there that feels the exact same way as you!

I bid you all adieu as I finish my porridge oats that was meant to be for breakfast, at 12:30 p.m.

Ally x
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...